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My roommate and I live in a two bed, two bath apartment. I have master bedroom with en suite bathroom.

I was aware for a few months she would be leaving for a month this summer. Two weeks ahead of her departure she let me know she would be subletting her room to 1-2 friends. I asked her to at the very least write their names and the days the will be staying on our whiteboard.

Turns out it was 3 friends + her college-aged brother i’ve met once (he’s tentative tho, no date confirmed but might be a night or two between the friends)

I decided I would operate from a place of, I’m going to live like my roommate isn’t here because I don’t know these people, it was last minute, and 3 different people in the span of a month is insane. Especially when she set very strict rules about giving access codes to our building to family, friends, and boyfriends.

And when I say live like she’s not here, I mean have my friends over because she’s quite antisocial and sensitive to sound. To her, a home should be a library.

Anyway, I had a female friend over and we were eating dinner and gossiping in the living room. At 12:15am, subletter #2/3 walks out of the room and asks us to move to my room or call it a night because it’s after 12. I said no. She pressed and overall my sentiment was “Don’t take this personally because I promise it’s not … but I didn’t know till the last minute anyone would be staying here and the only person I owe consideration to is the other person on the lease, and they are not here. You’re welcome to stay here, but you’re staying in my home where my name is on the lease and I won’t be inconvenienced in my home.”

She looked at me crazy (of course lol) in shock.

And if it was just one person subletting for a month I definitely would’ve been more flexible and willing to compromise. But the next one will be here in a few days, so it doesn’t matter to me if subletter #2 of 3, possibly 4, thinks I’m mean. And my friend and I both have jobs so we were wrapping up anyway. And though I could’ve said that, I didn’t want to. I wanted to assert the boundary that I’m not bending over backwards for people I don’t know. (I’ve done a lot of bending for roommate to make our lease work, but I needed to draw a line in case she told them I was “flexible” or “yeah [my name] will be quieter just tell her.” because I was looking forward to the peace of being alone and able to fully enjoy my rent lol) But maybe wanting to assert that boundary makes me the asshole.

And generally, I feel like an unpaid cleaning lady. My roommate and I usually split chores weekly and have a chore chart tracker on the fridge (she’s a bit ocd). Neither subletter 1 or 2 have done chores, but best believe they’re cooking etc. and making their own small spills on the counters, stovetop and floors. And it’s just me cleaning. Fine. Can I at least just enjoy sitting in my living room with a friend and a bottle of wine???

Anyway let me know if I’m the asshole!