Shop NYC Top

Hi AskNYC!

Curious to know if anyone else feels this way. I’ve lived in nyc for four years now ever since post grad. I’ve lived in the same apartment, changed jobs twice and will be coming up on 5 years of living here. Since it’s also the new year, have been reflecting a bit.

Does anyone else feel like they’re behind or regretful of how they’ve spent their time and feel like they’re not where they thought they’d be this far into living in a city/making the most of it like they thought they would? Sometimes I think “wow I’ve been here 4 years and I’m nowhere near close to having achieved the goals I want both socially and career-wise”. I’m reaching the point where I struggle with going out and seeing groups and being surrounded by people because it feels like so much pressure that I’m not where I want to be. Like I shouldn’t be struggling to have friend groups and community given it’s been 4 years and I should’ve built it by now and it stings to see everyone else feel so connected. Not sure if this is just having a closed minded outlook I need to shift, just a bit stuck in the feelings of “it’s too late” and unsure how to overcome.

In the past 4 years I’ve gone through 2 relationships and each year the circle of people seems to change. In a season where I’m uncertain of what the future holds now and trying to see if it will continue to be in nyc or time to for a new chapter in a new city. Can’t tell if this transition is normal, but can’t shake the disconnection and isolated/lonely feelings at times as I spend a lot of time here alone and get frustrated bc I figured I’d have it more figured out by now.

Would love any thoughts, advice or hear your experiences x