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Hi, I’m 22 and currently living in an overcrowded two-bedroom apartment with my family of five. It’s a hoarded environment that’s been infested for years with mice, flies, maggots, spiders, and roaches. The fridge has been broken for months, the kitchen and bathroom sinks don’t work, and the toilet has even been unusable before. My hygiene and mental health are falling apart.

My mom gets very defensive when I try to help or clean. I was raised in hoarding and always thought it was normal, but now I see how much it’s impacted me. It’s not just clutter, it’s unsafe. I’ve finally started documenting it because I’ve reached my limit.

I want to quietly seek housing support or transitional housing without involving my parents, because they’d be totally against it. I’m not trying to get them evicted or in trouble, I just want out. I want a way to leave safely and rebuild my life, especially since I had to pause my college education.

If any women or former youth in NYC have been in shelters or supportive housing before, what was your experience like? Which places were actually clean and supportive? Which ones should I avoid? Was it worth it? I’m really scared and tired, but I’m trying to make the safest, smartest choice I can.

Thank you so much to anyone who replies. I’ve been holding this in for a long time.