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Hello

I’m a 22F native from Queens, I’ve lived here all my life and I’ve never liked it. Ever.

I’ve traveled the world, and i’ve lived in Spain, most recently I’m going through a horrific breakup with my Scottish ex. I envisioned myself living there, and for the past few months i’ve just been crying and accepting my fate as being stuck here forever.

But then I realized why do I hate it so much though? I speak to my coworkers and they tell me they LOVE it here and wouldn’t be anywhere else. I see kids at NYU drop 80k a year to be here, but me? I just can’t see it.

My most recent trip was to Colombia, and I met so many awesome people at bars and salsa clubs, I had such a blast everyone was lovely. But the I come back, and I’m no longer sociable or feel interesting, I revert into my hermit shell.

I loved going to bars in the UK because the layout is affordable and usually there’s so much space to play darts, and it’s encouraged to talk to each other.

Here the vibe feels so different 🙁 I went to Rudy’s and it’s so packed you can’t even talk to anyone, I went to 2 other bars with a coworker and this 21 year old looked at us with the stankest face and told us we were in her spot, there was a dart board at the other bar but literally no way in hell you could play because we were all packed in like sardines!

When I lived in Spain, we had salsa nights every wednesday I’d go to with my friends and we would switch up dance partners and meet others that way. While hiking Poland, I had a 4 hour long conversation with a dude that doesn’t even speak the same language with me wishing me well and telling me to visit him when I come back.

But here? Oh my god no one talks! It’s so hard!! Is it just me? To be fair I went to a CUNY so I have 0 experience making friends here too. I wish I joined clubs but living an hour and 40 minutes away, I would just want to go home after.

Now I have 3 jobs but they’re basically remote, so I have a lot of time. They’re also in social media so it’s easy as hell and I’m free. I YEARN for community.

In North Carolina I had an amazing bonfire with strangers and we spoke for hours under the stars sharing stories. I want these experiences here, I don’t want to hate where I live! Am I right? Is there no community? Is it just inaccessible ?

I mean , I’d love to go to clubs and I like techno, but why the F*CK is a ticket $80!? And then I have to commute home at 4 in the morning and take a $40 Uber? Well I guess that’s not too bad, if only the ticket wasn’t $80 and the drinks $14. At least in Spain club tickets were $20 max and included 2 beers or at least beers were $7 in Ireland. But here? Goddamn.

Anyway. I love concerts, my favorite thing to do when traveling is see a local show. So i’ve gone to punk shows, techno cumbia, etc. Yeah. I wish I could go to a house party honestly, I just want to socialize and build community. I loved talking to people in museums across Ireland, I loved dancing to salsa with strangers, I loved meeting with people who genuinely wanted to meet again and form connections.

So NYC community, if you know any spaces where I can find this please let me know because a girl is rotting in bed over here!!!! Thanks <3